If you’re trying to decide between an elopement vs. micro wedding, it depends fully on how you want to feel when you get married. If you’re here, you’ve probably already decided that a large, cookie-cutter wedding isn’t for you. You want something more personal. Less performative. Less expected. Something that reflects your story as a couple, not what’s expected of you.
You hate the idea of putting on a show and spending the day moving through a checklist that feels nothing like you:
- First look
- Vows at the ceremony
- Family photos
- First dance
- Cut the cake
- Throw the bouquet
On, and on… There’s nothing wrong with sticking to traditions; it just might not be you. So now you’re at a new crossroads: choosing between a micro wedding vs. elopement. And while there are differences between the two, definitions don’t make the choice easier because it goes deeper than that. It’s based on how you want to feel. So I’m going to help you picture what each of these days could feel like while you’re in it. Not just what’s supposed to happen, but how the day moves, transitions, where your energy is spent, and what it’s like to live in it.
Is an Elopement or a Micro Wedding The Right Choice?
Neither is the better option. Both micro weddings and elopements can feel deeply personal and completely reflective of your relationship. They just prioritize different things.
Instead of focusing on what each one is called or what it’s supposed to include, it helps to look at how each one can unfold: how much structure there is, how involved your guests are (or if you even have any), and where your attention will naturally go throughout the day.
With a micro wedding, your experience is shared. You’re not moving through the day on your own; you’re experiencing it alongside the people you’ve chosen. Your attention naturally expands to include conversations, hugs, laughs, and little moments with the people who matter most to you. There’s more movement and transitions, and a level of hosting that comes with having guests. But it can still be very untraditional, just with more structure guiding the day.
An elopement shifts your focus inward. The pace is slower, with fewer interruptions and more time to be fully present with each other. There’s less to coordinate, fewer moving parts, and more room to move through the day without your attention being pulled in multiple directions. Everything gets quieter, more private, and centered entirely around the two of you.
One isn’t better than the other; it simply depends on what your priorities are.
What’s a Micro Wedding?
A micro wedding is what a lot of couples land on when they want to celebrate with their people, without everything that comes with a larger, more traditional wedding.
Guest List
Most micro weddings are somewhere between 20 and 50 guests. There are enough people to feel like a celebration and still small enough to stay connected and personal. You’re not rushing from conversation to conversation or personally thanking everyone for coming. You get quality time with the people you intentionally invited. To sit longer, have in-depth conversations, and really connect. You’re not learning anyone’s name for the first time, and nobody from your mom’s book club is there.
Formatting
Formatting your day as a micro wedding naturally takes some of the pressure off the guest list itself. Working with a smaller number shifts the focus away from who you should invite and toward who you genuinely want to be there.
Because you have guests, there’s naturally more of a hosting element required. You’re not showing up for just yourselves; you’re creating a space where your favorite people can come together. That doesn’t mean it turns into a production, but there has to be a level of intention behind how the day flows, how people are gathered, and how the day is shared. That’s where a bit more structure comes in. Not in a rigid, overly scheduled way, but in a way that helps guide the day so everything feels cohesive and easy to move through.
The Venue
Micro weddings are usually held in spaces that can comfortably host both the ceremony and a small dinner or reception. Think boutique venues, private estates, restaurants, or somewhere that already carries a strong sense of atmosphere without needing a ton of extra decor. These spaces work so well because they already feel complete and tend to be more contained, which naturally keeps the day feeling connected. Instead of guests being spread across a larger venue or constantly transitioning between separate locations, the smaller space lets people settle and keeps the energy consistent.
The difference isn’t really the guest count. It’s the feeling. There’s a warmth to it; a closeness that naturally comes from having only the people who matter most in the room. You get to see what’s happening around you. To hear your grandma laughing at the end of the table, see your friends clinking glasses, and watch the real moments you might have missed in a larger setting.
A micro wedding is for you if you want your people there. If you care about sharing the day and want to celebrate in a way that feels intimate and connected. Where the day isn’t just about the two of you, but also about the relationships that have shaped you. It’s for you if you value connection over production. If you want to look around and feel completely yourself around the people you love most.
What Your Micro Wedding Could Feel Like
In The Morning
You start your morning at the venue, getting ready with a few of your closest people–maybe your mom, sister, or your best friend. Slowly drinking your coffee as you get your hair and makeup done, not racing against the clock or trying to get somewhere on time.
You put on your dress and do a quick reveal for your girls before heading to meet your fiancé for a first look and private vows in a tucked-away corner, nobody watching or waiting. Taking your time and really soaking up the moment. You say exactly what you’d like and are present in the moment for as long as you want.
Afternoon
Guests arrive slowly. Conversations pick up naturally, no awkward introductions or forced small talk, because everyone already knows each other. They grab drinks, settle in, and catch up. You can hear familiar voices from across the venue that diffuses the pressure to entertain everyone.
Your ceremony is simple but full of meaning. Everyone is close enough to hear without a microphone. You can look around and actually see each of your guests, their reactions, smiles, and quiet tears. You don’t feel like you’re speaking into a crowd. You’re sharing something real with the people who know you best. There’s zero pressure to perform or participate in any traditions that don’t feel true to you.
Evening
When it’s over, there’s no big shift or reset. People flow into the next part of the day naturally. Conversations pick back up, and drinks are refreshed. The energy carries forward without needing to be directed.
While everyone settles into cocktail hour, you and I slip away for a bit. You don’t feel like you’re being photographed, just having a quiet moment with your love. You take the time to talk about what you’ve loved about your micro wedding and your excitement for the future. I’ll gently guide you when needed, but mostly give you space to just be together.
Your reception feels like a Sunday night family dinner, with glasses clinking, someone giving an unplanned toast, and laughter carrying across the room. You’re not bouncing from table to table because everyone is within arm’s reach. You pass plates and tell stories. Nobody is trying to lean in closer to hear or risk being left out of the conversation.
At the end of the night, you’re not thinking about who you might have forgotten to greet or if you remembered to get a group photo with all of your cousins. Instead, you reflect on how present you were, all of the conversations you were able to have, and all of the love you felt from your very intentional guest list.
Where To Host Your Micro Wedding
Not all venues are created equal when planning a micro wedding. Some spaces are too big, where a smaller guest count can make the venue feel empty. Others offer too much of a blank slate, which sounds appealing at first, until you realize you’re responsible for creating the whole vibe.
At the same time, one of the best parts of planning a micro wedding is how flexible your location can be. You’re not limited to traditional venues or spaces designed to hold hundreds of people. You can choose somewhere that truly feels like you and your story.
And because your guest list is smaller, there’s less pressure to find a space and location that works for everyone. You don’t need to accommodate a wide range of preferences or logistics. None of the “Where is so and so going to stay after they fly in?” or “How are we going to get our wedding party from the hotel to the venue?” You instead get to choose a space that feels right for you without any filters.
A few options for micro weddings that work really well:
Backyard or Private Estates
There’s an ease that comes with hosting your wedding in a familiar space: a backyard, a family property, somewhere you don’t have to learn the layout of.
Maybe it’s your grandma’s backyard, the same patio that’s seen years of dinners and holidays, still with the handprints you pressed into the cement when you were 6.
Or maybe it’s your own space, where you can wake up in your bed and get ready the same way you do every day, sitting criss-cross on your bathroom counter.
Guests don’t feel like they’re arriving at an event, but more like they’re showing up somewhere they’ve been a hundred times. People don’t need directions or cues on where to go. They already feel at home. Shoes kicked off, drinks poured without hesitation, and conversations start naturally.
There’s no awkward in-between where people are figuring things out or waiting to be told where to go. The transitions are built in. It feels familiar and comfortable in a way that makes everyone settle in, including you.
That kind of ease changes everything about your day. You’re not trying to create a vibe or make a space feel like you. It already does.
Your Favorite Restaurant
If food and conversation are how you best connect, a restaurant can be a natural fit.
There’s something really special about sharing your favorite meal: sitting around a table, trying each other’s orders, with the restaurant employees cleaning up around you because you stayed until close. This kind of connection happens naturally at a restaurant.
That’s what makes it work so well for a micro wedding. The atmosphere and structure are already there, guiding the night without you having to think about it. You arrive, get seated, order drinks—you know how a restaurant works! It unfolds completely on its own. The pressure to host fades into the background, and you get to enjoy the night with your guests.
If you’re looking for a restaurant that hosts weddings in the Phoenix area, I’d recommend Fox Restaurant Concepts, but I’d love to help you find something that screams you!
Boutique Venues for Micro Weddings with a Built-In Atmosphere
Smaller, design-forward venues work really well for micro weddings because they have a strong built-in atmosphere.
Spaces like Wrigley Mansion or Monroe Street Abbey don’t require much to feel like something. They already have a lot of character, which means you’re not making a long list (and budget!!!) of what needs to be added. Instead, you get to be more selective with where you spend your time and money. A few thoughtful details in a space like this go a long way.
Something I love about boutique venues like Monroe Street Abbey and Wrigley Mansion is how the spaces naturally cater to smaller weddings. They both have defined spaces, but they flow together beautifully, so you can contain or expand your day where you’d like.
P.S. Take a peek at my own micro wedding photos! It was the best thing I could have done. PC: The Hitched Hiker
What is an Elopement?
If you want your wedding day to be all about you (and I really mean all about you), you should elope.
Deciding to elope means letting go of everything that typically comes with a wedding (traditions, rules, anyone’s expectations, opinions, schedules, wishes, etc., etc.!!!)and only listening to what you want the day to be.
Maybe you hate structure and want to wake up without an alarm the morning of. Or you want to eat at Taco Bell after your ceremony in the desert. There are literally no rules. No structure unless you want it. No timeline to follow. You can get married outside, somewhere quiet and romantic, or at a courthouse for something more classic and timeless. Or turn the whole thing into a destination weekend at your favorite tropical resort.
You get complete creative freedom, but if that scares you a bit or you can’t picture what an elopement could look like for you
Here are some quick facts:
- An elopement typically has up to 10 guests, but many couples opt for just themselves and a photographer (hi, me!)
- Depending on the state, you might need to bring a witness or two to make things official. Arizona requires 2 witnesses, but I can be one of yours!
- You don’t need to hire any vendors if you don’t want to. I might sound biased, but the most important vendor you can hire for your elopement is your photographer.
- You can wear whatever you want. Scrap the white dress and suit and tie and wear a yellow raincoat and rubber boots!
- You can still celebrate with friends and family in a way that feels true to you. Maybe dinner and drinks the night before or a dance party at the end of the night.
- It can happen at any time, day or night! Sunrise ceremony? Yes, please!!
No rules really means no rules when it comes to elopements!
What Your Elopement Could Feel Like
It’s hard to describe what your elopement could look like because, as we’ve established, there are a million different ways to elope. But from my experience as an elopement photographer, couples commonly feel the same:
Free.
From everything anyone ever said about what a wedding should look like. Free to make the day 100% about you. Free from traditions that mean nothing to your love story.
The morning of your elopement starts when you say it does. You sleep in and let the sun wake you up. Maybe you go to your favorite coffee shop, the one where you had your first kiss.
You get ready together at the Airbnb you rented in the mountains or maybe the desert. Nobody is there to rush you or pull you away for a quick photo. There’s no timeline to follow.
When you’re ready, you move to your ceremony. You’re not performing; there’s no audience. You read your vows, saying everything you’d be too scared to say in front of anyone else. You say “I do” and kiss for a little longer because nobody is ushering you to the cocktail party.
We will take photos along the way, but it won’t ever feel like a photoshoot. You can just exist, soak in the day, and focus on each other. I’ll document the flirty looks, hand-holds, and the moments you don’t even notice.
As the day goes on, maybe you go out to dinner. Something simple like pizza or your favorite Italian place. You sit across from each other, replaying the day, a little bit in disbelief that eloping got to be that good.
There’s no pressure to end the night a certain way. No final event to work towards. The day just winds down naturally, the same way it started.
Where Can You Have an Elopement
Instead of choosing a venue based on whether it can accommodate or serve a large group, an elopement lets you choose a location based entirely on what you want.
The best news: you can get married almost anywhere. Grab a map, close your eyes, and point, and you can probably tie the knot on the spot! When there’s no pressure to consider much beyond yourselves, where you get married can be based more on meaning, your personal experiences, and what you’ve always wanted your day to look and feel like.r
In Nature
If you want something quieter, more expansive, and removed from everything and everyone, nature is the perfect stage. Your elopement instantly has a different energy when you take it outside. You’re not surrounded by noise or distractions. It’s you, your spouse, and open space.
Maybe that scene is the desert in Joshua Tree, where everything feels fresh and untouched. Or the mountains, where the air is crisp, and you feel tiny in comparison. Or you could choose somewhere along the coast, where the sound of the ocean fills the silences, and everything feels a bit slower.
Nature is complete. You don’t need to decorate it or try to make it feel like something, which takes a lot of pressure off planning. It inherently feels grounded, uncomplicated, and is easy to stay present in.
At The Courthouse
If you’re drawn to something more structured, yet simple and intentional, consider a courthouse elopement. I have a whole blog post about how to plan one. There’s no big production to it—you walk in, sign your paperwork, say some vows (if you want), and you’re done. Clean, straightforward, and quite chic!
Because the process is so simple, everything else about your day becomes the focus. You can spend more time dressing up and walking around the city, or head to your favorite restaurant for drinks and appetizers. The ceremony can be big and at the center of the day, or a quick stop in a day-long celebration. Again, it’s all up to you.
Somewhere Far Away
If you want more of an experience than a single-day celebration, I’d suggest booking a plane ticket. Your destination can be somewhere that already has a special place in your heart, or somewhere completely new that you two have dreamed of visiting.
Traveling pulls you out of your routine and shifts your attention. You’re not thinking about your typical to-do list or what’s waiting for you at home. You get to separate from real life with a lot less competition for your concern.
Being away from home, your elopement becomes much more than a simple ceremony. Your big day becomes a big few days, and each moment involved—the flights, the check-ins, the navigation, the flavors, the sounds, the views, the experiences—adds pages to your unforgettable wedding story.
I really mean it when I say you can elope anywhere. Your top considerations are your priorities. Once those are clear, the fun of figuring out where to wed begins.
How To Decide if an Elopement or Micro Wedding is Right For You
Think about how you want your day to feel. Do you want to spend it with certain people? Is there anything you need to have at your wedding? If there were no rules, what would your wedding look like? Do you want to invite this person, or does your mom?
It comes down to your priorities. Ask yourself what you really want. Here are some questions to guide you:
Do you:
- Want to share the day with your people?
- Feel excited by the idea of hosting guests?
- Prefer to have a bit of structure to guide the day?
- Have any wedding traditions that feel true to you?
- Want your day to feel intimately gathered
If you answered mostly yes, you’d probably enjoy a micro wedding!
OR
Do you:
- Feel at ease when you think about having something more private?
- Care more about your experience than curating one for guests?
- Not want to factor in many logistics?
- Feel drawn to nature and travel instead of an indoor venue?
If you answered mostly yes, you’d probably prefer an elopement.
Whether you choose to have a micro wedding or an elopement, the most important part is to create a day that feels honest and not performative, planned to keep most people comfortable.
Your wedding doesn’t need to follow a script to be special.
Some couples feel most connected surrounded by their closest people at one long dinner table, drinking wine, and swapping stories. Others want to wake up somewhere quiet, hike to the top of a mountain, and exchange views with nobody else around. Both are perfect.
Frequently Asked Questions About Planning Your Elopement or Micro Wedding
How do I decide my guest list?
This is one of the most common sticking points when it comes to planning an elopement or micro wedding. But through my years of working in the wedding industry, there are a few questions to ask before putting each guest on your list:
- Have we actually seen or talked to this person in the last year?
- Do they actively know about and support our relationship?
- Did they reach out when we got engaged?
- Would we notice if they weren’t there?
- Do we feel obligated to invite them, or do we feel excited to spend intentional time with them?
Your guest list should feel like a reflection of your real life, not a list of obligations. The people you invite will shape the energy of your day more than any other element, so be mindful and choose wisely!
How much does a micro wedding cost?
Cost will look different for every wedding. With a micro wedding, a large portion of your budget usually goes towards guest-related expenses. Things like catering, rentals, centerpieces, drinks, seating, invitations, and a large enough venue to host everyone. Even with a smaller guest count, those costs can add up quickly.
Elopements focus on the experience of the couple instead of the guests. Couples often invest in things like travel to their destination, boutique accommodations, dresses and suits, multi-day experiences, florals, and photography.
The upside to both is that a smaller guest count can give you more flexibility. Instead of trying to stretch your budget across 150 people, you can invest more intentionally in the parts of the day that matter most to you.
Do I need to hire any vendors?
No, you don’t! But the right vendors can completely change how your day goes and feels, especially for elopements and micro weddings, where every part of the experience is more detailed.
My opinion is biased (probably correct), but a photographer is the one vendor you NEED to hire.
At smaller weddings, the photos become even more special because the day is so personal. You’ll want to remember everything, but also don’t ever want to leave the present moment. I make sure you don’t miss any of that. The teary hug from your dad, nervous laughs as you read your vows, friends passing plates at dinner during sunrise. I’ll help you stay present during the entire day. You’ll never feel like you’re having a photoshoot.
If you would like other vendor recommendations, I’m happy to provide!
Will it hurt people’s feelings if I elope?
Honest answer: Yes, feelings could get hurt. Weddings, for better or worse, have become as much of a celebration for the attendees as they are for the happy couple. However, as I’ve mentioned 100 times and I’ll scream until I die… the feelings that matter most on your wedding day are yours. This is your special day, and if an elopement is what you and your spouse want to do, then do it.
Choosing yourself doesn’t mean you don’t love your family, even if that’s what your aunt said. It means you’re choosing to start your marriage in a way that feels aligned with the two of you instead of appeasing others.
Is an elopement a real wedding?
Absolutely! A real wedding requires very little: two people in love, an officiant, and a certain number of legal witnesses. Everything else is optional.
A big wedding may be the societal standard, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only version of real. An elopement is still a wedding. You’re still making vows, committing your lives to each other, and choosing to celebrate your relationship. And isn’t that exactly what a wedding is?
Micro Wedding vs Elopement— Advice From an Arizona Elopement Photographer
The biggest thing I want you to take away from this is that you don’t have to fit your wedding into anything defined for it to be meaningful. Your day does not need to be neat and perfectly labeled to justify your celebration. Your mom, dad, aunt, sister, grandpa (and on and on) don’t need to approve your wedding like it’s a business plan. The best weddings are a collection of ideas that only make sense to you.
So whether you call it an elopement, a micro wedding, a destination wedding, or simply “getting married,” what matters is that it feels honest to the two of you. That you actually get to be present. That you can enjoy the day, so when you look back years from now, you feel proud of all of the decisions you made.
If you’re planning a wedding that feels unruly, personal, maybe even a little weird, I’d love to document it for you! Reach out here to start the conversation!
